I’m Leaving Japan.
I was a hard decision. I guess living here for the last 6 years has made me comfortable with life in Tokyo. In the end though I didn’t feel I could make a living here, at least not making video games. I looked for other jobs but in the end I couldn’t see myself leaving games easily and if I’m staying in games then Japan is not the place to do it. It sounds counterintuitive, Japan makes great games, unfortunately they do it by paying almost nothing.
If I was 25 that would be fine but I’m 41 now and I can’t keep doing it knowing that I’m giving up any kind of future. The only workable option might be to start my own company but I don’t have a clear vision for that at the moment.
Some other things contributed as well. The first time I was here in 1998 I made some close Japanese friends at work. This time though that didn’t happen. I couldn’t really say exactly why. I can say there was a huge difference in the atmospheres of the two companies. The first one felt like a big family. The second one felt like lots of individuals that just happened to be sitting in the same room. A friend recently started there and she commented on it as well, so much so she’s only been their a month and already wants to quit.
A different company or more effort might have fixed that but either way I know that problem will be fixed going back because I’m going to be working with close friends this time. Something I’ve really missed.
So, I’m moving back to the states. San Francisco to be specific. Of course I’m a little apprehencive. I have lots of friends here in Tokyo and I’ll miss them. I also love Tokyo. It’s great city with lots of fun stuff to do and great food and it’s safe.
People ask if I have any regrets and I do have one giant regret. I never had a Japanese girlfriend. Pretty strange for a white guy in Japan. I met lots of women but none of them clicked. Well, there were a few who I fell head over heals for but they didn’t want me. As well there were a few who fell for me that for some reason I couldn’t get interested in. Attraction is a strange thing. I know one other factor is being in my late 30s early 40s I was always looking for a wife, not just a girlfriend and so unless I was sooo attracted as to ignore that feeling then most women got passed through the lens of long term and didn’t seem to fit. With a few it was a timing issue.
Of course just having a girlfriend would have been nice but being in Japan and not having had a Japanese girlfriend means I missed out on a ton of experiences. Cultural things I would have been asked to participate in. Japanese TV I would have been asked to watch. Some might consider that torture but with someone to explain the cultural references or even some of the jokes I might have at least a slightly better understanding. Another example, I never learned any slang. Non, zero, zilch, nada.
But, that’s water under the bridge. I’m outta here. I should be gone by the end of January. I’m looking forward to starting the next step of my life and seeing where it leads.
Gregg, you don’t know me, but I’ve been reading your blog for the past 4 years, maybe 5. I’m fascinated by all things Japanese, but I live in Los Angeles. Your writings give me a chance to keep in touch with what’s going on there between the few times that I managed to make a trip over there. I also would like to thank you for letting strangers like me to have a peek in some facets of your personal life.
I hope you will keep writing after you move back to the States, although the selfish part of me is sad that you won’t be talking about Japan anymore, I wish you the best of luck in your next steps in life!
Cheers,
RC
Sounds like you really loved Toyko/Japan. I loved London/UK as much and found it hard to leave – but financially I was negative and physically dead from the nightlife + commuting. Good decision in the end. And yes, you should start your own company with all your experience.
I’ve been reading the blog since 2002ish and I loved every post related to Japan. Having spent a decade overseas, myself, I know a little of what you’re talking about when it comes to opportunities.
It’s a double-edged sword. You’re damned if you do and might be damned if you don’t seize the day.
Sadly, I will (selfishly) miss your musings about Japan from “the inside.”
Nevertheless, you accomplished A LOT, personally, from your time there. If you don’t feel that way – you will. Just be careful when the pangs to return to Japan slowly work their way back once the luster of the United Snakes (where I returned to) wears off. It’s a depressing experience.
Good luck.
I’ve been a reader for some time. Nothing like loving what you do in an atmosphere that loves you back!
I really enjoy this blog and hope that you’ll continue and maybe document your readjustment to the states.
been reading your blog for at least three years. I´m gonna miss the japan-side posts, but I´m sure the dev-style posts will keep me entertained.
It´s strange, I always thought you would stay in japan “forever”. After all the effort, learning japanese and so on… it must have been a tough one. It felt strange reading your post.
I´ve learned a lot by reading your blog. I´m a game dev too, and have considered moving to japan a few times. I don´t know if I´ll ever take the step, but if it happens, at least I will have great insight into what living in japan means. Thanks to you!
So, thank you again, and good luck on your new venture.
I’m really sad you are leaving. I was looking forward to living in Japan someday and I enjoyed your pointers. I hope you find luck in the future in San Francisco. Thanks for the pointers!
-skyclaw441
Good luck man
maybe home is where the heart is
I ve been reading for about a year now I m such a dino I did not even know this was a blog but stumbled across the blog when checking out some hotel info
You ll meet a nice Japanese girl between now and the time you leave I m betting on it
domo arigato gozaimashita!
Wow, never expected to see that you would be coming back to the States. Although I remember you talking about how you were having rough times every now and then a while back. Hope everything works out for you back in the US, I will definitely miss reading about Japan from your perspective. Good LUCK!
moving on is a good thing! think of it as a new adventure in life. and about girls, you’ll meet the one when you least expect it… just keep those receptacles open. good luck!
Just as some of the other commenters, do I also read your blog for several years already. Living as a gaijin in Tokyo, I could understand many of your entries very well. I am not a game developer nor working in the software industry, so your comments about that were revealing to me. I wish you all the best in the USA.
Hey Greggman! Good luck back in the states. Sorry it happened so suddenly! I might not get to see you before you’re gone! Keep in touch, and if I’m ever randomly in SF we can catch up!
Nothing to feel bad about going though, you’ve left your mark here in a big way that most gaijin can’t claim!
Later
- Harvey
Hi Gregg,
We met in Tokyo in february 2005 while I came to visit Xenn Studios.
It was very nice to meet you and some of your friends in Nakameguro.
So you are now turning a big page in your life bikurishita!!!
I’m sure you will met a nihon gf in SF and you will travel back many times in Japan. Maybe you will met her in a language exchange meeting or any japanese cultural event (like I did in my hometown in Canada
)
I wanted to move to Tokyo but I finally did not when I learned about the salaries for a 3D artist… even lower than game programmers. So i started learning finance by myself and maybe one day I’ll get there! but I will never stop travelling to Japan hopefully every year. I’m coming in next march.
Good luck in your next life!
Duuuuude, noooooo!!!! :^)
Who will show me all the cool hidden restaurants of Tokyo??? Man, this is really disappointing. You were one of my expat heroes. But realistically, you’re coming back to the States (for gaming) at exactly the right time. The hills are filled with gold and the tech boom is back, so I expect to see you kick much arse in silicon valley. Congrats!
Still, I’ll miss GMan’s Tokyo… Damn gaijin! (inside joke) ;^)
Dear Greggman -
I’ve been a visitor to your site, off and on, for a little while. Very informative, entertaining, and thought-provoking. There are many, many people who appreciate the time and energy that you put into your site. You’re a bright, talented guy (somewhat shy and self-effacing) with a lot on the ball. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Regards,
Fnu Lnu
Welcome back to the Bay Area. Well, I’ve read and enjoyed your blog for the last few years. Thanks for posting it, hope to see you continue it and/or the dev blog.
Hi Gregg, thanks a lot for sharing with us your “japan experience” for all this time! You did what I often dreamed of doing, making games in japan! I really love making games and the japanese culture but I never had the courage to leave everything and move there, so I really appreciated your stories, they made me feel as I was there too. Wish you all the best, and thanks again!
グレッグさんの決意をわかります。まあ、僕があなたの立場だったら同じ事をするでしょ。でも日本に来て良かったなという感じが強くて良きかな？
それじゃ、次回までげんきでね。
グレッグさん、私はあなたのサイトのファンです。 私（日本人）は、あなたのような才能にも恵まれずにアメリカに住んでいますが、最近あなたと同じような気持ちで暮らしています。 あなたのサイトを時々訪ねては、外国人のあなたがこんなにも日本のことを理解してくれていると思い、私の心が癒されました。 そのあなたが、日本を去る決心をしたというニュースを聞いて、とても淋しい気持ちでいっぱいです。 どうぞアメリカに帰っても、なんらかの形で日本と、つながりのあるサイトを継続してください。 長いあいだ、日本と外国の文化の橋渡しをしてくれて、本当にありがとう。 私も’北国の春’にある歌詞、”あの～故郷に帰ろかな～、帰ろ～かな～”の心境の今日この頃です。（でもこの年では、日本に帰れないだろうなぁ～） グレッグさん、本当にありがとう、そしてあなたのご多幸をお祈りしています。
そうなんだ〜…淋しくなるね。でも自分のためになるのなら仕方がないね。
帰る前に、ぜひ会いたいのでまたJunの店にでも顔だしてね!
今は家で働いているので連絡してね〜
wrong decision greggman. stay stay stay. do not chicken out. there is still time. never give up.
Gregg!!!!! Minna ga anata o hitsuyou to shiteimasu !!! Anata ga Amerika ni kaette shimattara minna ga kanashiku narimasu・・・・・・。 Onegaidakara sayonara to iwanaide~~~~!!!!!!
Get an arranged married with some rich Japanese women
Hi greg,
I agree with you, that japanese company does not
pay enough to the developers for game. Japnese
company does not know the value of good programmer.
They just think any one can do it. But, recently this trend
is changing. If you really want to make money you should leave
game and try for other software jobs.
At first I was reading your “leaving Japan” article, and I thought you were justbeing a whiny b*tch. That’s because you seemed to be focusing on “no Japanese girlfriend” as a big reason for leaving.
But when I think about it, its actually easy to understand. If you’re in Japan, you gotta either have a Japanese girlfriend, or pretty much no girlfriend at all.
There’ve been thousands and thousands of songs written about a man’s longing for a woman to be with. All of them are sad songs. I’m sorry you’ve been sitting there for several years, without the kind of love all people need. If you can’t find it there, then I guess S.F. might be the place.
I suppose you’ve tried various “Meet a foreigner” types of events (like various “Friends of the USA” or “Friends of Europe” clubs at various universities and in larger cities. I mean, you gotta look where “white-guy-lovin’ Japanese ladies” are gonna be, right?)
Keep tryin’ man. There’s somebody good out there. If not in Japan, then maybe in S.F. … heh, maybe in S.F., there’s a sweet and kind Japanese girl, who is about to leave back to Tokyo soon, because she’s feeling lovelorn, too. You never know. Could be a perfect match.
Keep on keepin’ on, and don’t give up on love!
Jeff
BTW: I dig your screensaver BIGTIME. Took a few settings tweaks to get my dual display to play nice, but it rocks!
re the GF thing. It’s not too late, stop by Yasuko’s place and see what happens.
I’ve been running into your web page so long I thought you were a Japan oldtimer. 6 years is of course pretty long but I had almost 6 years in myself before I left and I have friends who are measuring their time in decades now.
Anyway good luck to you. I suppose if you’re into game development S.F. is the place to be but you do realize, don’t you, that you’re going to one of the few places in the U.S. where housing costs much more than in Tokyo.
I’m not saying I’m leaving Japan because I didn’t meet a woman, rather there is no woman to give me some reason to stay. I met lots of women, just none that things worked out with.
Anyway, my main point is I loved my experience in Japan and about the only thing I wish I had done was have a Japanese girl friend because I know I would have learned far more than I did. I decided to leave though, so basically that’s the past. I’m looking forward to the future
As for housing costs, yea, S.F. is expensive. I’m not sure it’s more expensive compared to Tokyo for the size of the apartment I’ll have but I suppose even though the apartments in Tokyo are much smaller the average rent paid is higher in S.F. Of course the salaries are also much higher, at least in games
I get it. Just generally getting tired of the place, but a woman *could* possibly keep you there, if she was the right woman. Yeah. I can see that.
Either way, I hope ya find a woman in SF that’s rock your socks off.
[I'm with you all the way! Go Gregg go!!!]
And you are right about SF cost of living vs. earning power. I’m looking into it myself. If it weren’t for the higher pay rate, the pricing would be riDONKulous! But there’s potential gold in them thar hills. I guess I can find a nice little cell -er-um- apartment, if I bargain hunt.
I found your site while searching for some Japanese information and really enjoyed your journals and forums: Japan related or otherwise.
Change is good and I wish you well with the new endeavor. San Francisco is a nice city with good flights to Japan so you’ll never be too far away.
I do have one bit of unsolicited advice: live near the Bart if you can. The muni light rail and buses pale in comparison. The J line is the best of the lot, the N is the worst.
I’ve been checking out your blog for a couple of years now and have found it really interesting – Thank-you for sharing.
Good Luck in S.F and I hope you will continue your observations of S.F life in your Blog.
Binc.
Hey Greg,
We met many years ago at the cafeteria on the 17th floor at you know where, alongside with James and a few others.
I understand well the feeling of leaving but also wanting to stay, and most of all, not having experienced as much as one could have…
I returned to UK after 1.5years over there, with my wife (non Japanese). I still look back and regret a bit having done so, but at the same time, I look back harder and see that it was a better decision than staying…
Don’t forget you always have a chance of going back to Japan for Holidays (and who knows, business too).
returned to london, what made you think it was a better decision to leave than to stay ? am thinking about whether to move there …
thanks !!!
Dear Gregg,
I know that you don’t have much time in Japan now. But I would like to recommend you to try ‘Japanese Omiai’ (お見合い） before you leave Japan.
Omiai is a common way for someone who find future wife/husband in Japan. First, you need to go to the stationer’s shop to buy ‘Rirekisho form’（履歴書）. Then, you need to fill in your profile on the ‘Rirekisho form’ such as your age, education, occupation, salary, hobby, etc. with your photo. Socond, you need to ask your Japanese friends’ parents that you are looking for your future wife (e.g. college grad, good cook, considerate woman, etc.). Then, you hand out them a Rirekisho form.
Some Japanese people like to be matchmaker. They will ask their old friends, neighbors, relatives, collegues, etc. if someone knows a nice girl. For first date, you have to meet a woman with matchmaker who introduces each other for 30 minutes. Then, it will be your own date.
Generally, if she is not your type after third date, you need tell a matchmaker that umfortunately she is not your type and stop dating. If you are intrested in her, you may propose to her after 3 months or 6 months. Omiai is a rational way to find someone’s future partner. Good luck Gregg ! I’m sorry, that my English is not good enough.
Silly boy, don’t you know that you could get a Japanese girlfriend out of a coin-op machine? I’ve seen you make such a huge investment of energy in preparation for Japan but in the end, the video game business is such a mercenary job that it can be seen as a move to the next company. I hope you become a Wii developer and make big bucks!
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now. As a game programmer myself it was really interesting reading about your experiences in Japan – especially since I’m “into” Japan myself.. So in a sense you were living my dream
I’m gonna miss your Japan entries but I’m sure you will have lots of interesting stuff to share from the states as well!
PS: I used some of my winter vacation to finish Loco Roco! Damn fine game! Almost every – if not all – level introduced some new cool stuff. You and your team should be really proud of this game! But I guess you already are!
Good luck! Go code some cool stuff!
Well, nobody can argue with money…
Americans your age with a stellar “programming carreer” can look forward to (well they probably already did)buying a house, luxury car, lease a second “vacation house” and maybe your friends in they states did just that.
But! Never forget how much you enjoy life is the sum of what you experience every single day, not what you buy.
Probably your friends in the states never enjoyed “brain stimulation” as you did in Tokyo, (nor you will in SF) and OUTSIDE of work they are as apalled as it gets (and i would like to stress that “OUTSIDE”).
That’s the reason many Tokyo expats regret their decision of going back.
(generally around 2 years after returning).
Still, finding love would be the perfect cure in SF (nothing beats that) so good luck!
I am here for almost 9 years and I so many times have I considered leaving…
Now that I gave myself a time limit (year 2010), I just found a Japanese GF, who might be too much of a stop to leave.
But I hate it here and I’ll leave soon, no matter what.
I think you made a right decision, Greggman, Good Luck!
People who have lived abroad for the first time (even for 10 years) always think that going back is a mandatory thing, that will solve everything.
They base this on memories and the time spent on vacation there every year.
What they discover after acouple of years from going back is that memories are no more and that vacation is vacation and living is another thing.
Reverse culture shock is a bad thing an most people never recover…
Updae your blog and let us know what it’s like to be back in the bay area. Go have some pho, and let me know if the food at the House of Nanking is still any good (it used to be the best).
I have visited your site for some years now – first when I too was living in Tokyo, but from time to time back here in North America as well.
Hope your re-adjustment goes well.
wel wish u great luck in the future hopefully ul find nice japaneese gal some time chowwww
heh, the parallels between you and me are pretty spooky. I worked a bit with Silicon & Synapse down in Costa Mesa, also near Baltimore MD for a summer gig. Lived in Tokyo for 7+ years . . . Mizunoguchi for a year, Takadanobaba for 2, worked in VR (company had a keiretsu thing first with Sega & then Sony for a while), relocated from Tokyo to the Bay Area, where I am now.
I miss Tokyo terribly, but we always forget the bad stuff and remember the good. Bay Area does kinda suck tho.
もしも願いが叶うなら 吐息を白いバラに変えて 逢えない日には部屋じゅうに 飾りましょう あなたを想いながら Darling, I want you 逢いたくて ときめく恋に 駆け出しそうなの 迷子のように 立ちすくむ 私をすぐに 届けたくて ダイヤル回して 手をとめた I’m just a woman Fall in love
If my wishes can be true Will you change my sighs to roses, whiter roses decorate them for you Thinki’ ’bout you every night and find out where I am I am not livin’ in your heart Darling, I need you どうしても 口に出せない 願いがあるのよ 土曜の夜と 日曜の あなたがいつも 欲しいから ダイヤル回して 手を止めた I’m just a woman Fall in love
good bye my love この町角で good bye my love 歩いてゆきましょう
あなたは右に 私は左に ふりむいたら 負けよ
good bye my love も一度抱いて good bye my love 私の涙を
あなたの頬で ふいているのよ 泣きまねじゃないの
忘れないわ あなたの声 優しい仕草 手のぬくもり
忘れないわ くちづけの時 そうよあなたの あなたの名前
good bye my love
I’ll never forget you
and please, oh please say
you’ll never forget me
We can meet again someday
good bye my love 二人の恋が good bey my love 真実ならば
いつかは逢える これが本当の さよならじゃ ないの
忘れないわ あなたの声 優しい仕草 手のぬくもり
忘れないわ くちづけの時 そうよあなたの あなたの名前
もちろんあなたの あなたの名前