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Men’s Public Restrooms: Why it sucks to be a guy

I don’t know what it’s like for women but I imagine it’s not nearly as bad. For some reason, men are assholes when it comes to using a public restroom. Go into any men’s public restroom and the odds that the toilet seat is covered in pee are probably greater than 50%

Of course it can be worse, people don’t flush. People put in half the toilet paper roll clogging the toilet and making it impossible to flush. Some vandals even bust the seats off for fun :-(

Some percentage of this is actually complete assholes who think it’s fun to mess up the toilet, pee everywhere, etc. But, a large percentage of it is pee shy guys. Pee shy means you are too embarrassed to pee in front of others so instead of using the urinal you go into a toilet stall because it’s more private. But, you only have to do #1 and since you don’t want to touch the seat you just pee without lifting it. I see tons of guys do this and surprisingly they don’t look like meek guys. They are usually jock types but clearly they are pee shy otherwise they wouldn’t be using the stalls to pee.

It only takes one asshole a day to ruin a stall. Sure they have paper covers for the seat but if the seat is wet they are hardly useful.

The problem has been around so long that within the last few years I’ve started seeing stalls with an extra paper dispenser and a cleaning agent dispenser. The instructions say, take a piece of this special paper, squirt some cleaning solution on it from the cleaning solution dispenser and clean the seat.


Anyway, the reason I’m posting this now is that last week I was in Malaysia where the same problem exists. I guess guys are assholes the world over. The problem appears to be so bad that this was their solution


Not only did they have the soap dispenser for cleaning they had an actual hose in each stall next to the toilet to hose it down and of course a drain in the floor for the water.

In Singapore I hear it’s a crime to not flush the toilet after you use it. It would be awesome if it was a crime to soil the seat. Caning sounds about right to me.

By the way, I used to be pee shy though I never used the stalls. I’m not sure why. It started when I was about 24yrs old, all of a sudden I guess I became self conscious about peeing and if there were other guys around and no dividers between urinals it would often take a while to get started. About 3 years ago a friend told me “try doing multiplication in your head while peeing, supposedly it’s connected to the same part of the brain and you can pee”. I don’t know if he was making that up just so I’d have something to take my mind off it or if it’s true but I can say it does work. I assume it just gives me something else to think about instead of being self conscious but since that day I haven’t had any pee shy incidents. If you are pee shy give it a try.

Finally, that is one advantage to Japanese style toilets. No part of your body touches them so even if they are a little messy it’s not quite as bad.


No, I’m not ready to trade my Western style for Japanese style. :-p

  • Fraise
    Distance problem.

    Men’s toilet always reminds me an old advertize of McDonalds with Air Jordan and Larry Bird.

    Rebound against the wall on the left, the ceiling, the seat …and then in the hole.

    (^_^)

     

     

  • quaker
    The problem comes from …

    … bad parenting.

    The thing is, I saw this in the army, that 95 – 99 % of guys at the age of 18 have never, ever cleaned a toilet. While you may laugh at what that’s got to do with anything, for some reason parents give the guys a free pass when it comes to this household chore. While we guys have to do more chores these days as a part of our upbringing, cleaning the bathroom/toilet still doesn’t seem to be something that boys have to do. It’s the momma’s that do it, and in progress they spoil it for the rest of humanity. The same applied to me, when I was 18 … I had never cleaned a toilet.

    It all changed when I got my first apartment, and got educated by my girlfriend on how gross a never-cleaned toilet was, and also taught me how to make a toilet clean and clean it properly. You may laugh, again, but I’ve found that this humiliating lesson was a really valuable one, in terms of how I value the work that someone puts into keeping these kind of spaces (especially public) clean. It takes more than the casual thinker might appreciate.

    The bad thing is, once you understand the difference, you start to notice how appalling the toilet manners of even your closest male relatives and friends can be: total disregard for the effort that someone has put into cleaning the toilet. One can’t help but wonder how someone has the nerve to go to the toilet, leave f*king mess and walk out as if everything was OK.

  • http://tr1n1ty.kun@gmail.com evane
    err….the tap’s not for that…

    Toilets in Malaysia have hoses in each stall because it is Indian/Malay (can’t remember which one, or both, I’m pretty sure Indian though) to not use toilet paper but to wash themselves down with water instead.

  • _
    Jamban in Malaysia

    haha… in malaysia, the hose is often used for ppl to clean themselves up after doing the #1 actually. We seldom use the paper and very much water-based, hahaha… Anyways, if that picture of the toilet is from malaysia, then it is spanking clean ( by the standard of malaysia anyways ) I have seen a whole lot worst in the not so touristy areas of KL… I hope this was the only setback while you were here. ( hmmm.. i bet that toilet was in KLCC, no? )

  • KL
    disposable seat cover

    How about tsukai-sute benza sheet (disposable toilet seat cover)?

    http://www.kenko.com/product/seibun/sei_664059.html

    They are primarily for women but if you’re hygiene conscious (I assume so by your previous article about flu virus) it’ll be useful I guess.

  • DZ
    Enough about toilets what’s up with the magazine appearance?

    Hey Gregg by chance I saw your sample resume and photo in a job-recruiting magazine. I’m surprised you haven’t written a blog entry about it. How did they find you? Why do they want to show a foreign resume? Did they pay you anything? Is the content real? etc.

  • http://sab-chan.blogspot.com SABchan
    Its the same the world over

    It always amazes me, but I found that the most discusting loos I’ve ever had to use were on my Company’s trading floor in New York. I’ve worked in London and now in Japan where people think that spending a penny should be done in comfort (although the Japanese take it to new heights of cleanliness). I couldn’t beleive that the top percentile of America’s white collar workers treated their loos like a gutter in the road. Disgusting.

  • llshibata
    stalls

    I like to use the stalls rather than urinals because I like to ‘pat’ my self dry after taking a #1. It just makes me feel much cleaner, cause all that shaking don’t exactly get you clean.

  • albertj
    It doesn’t end at the toilet…

    And a surprising number of guys (even in the upscale research lab where I work in the SF Bay Area) don’t even wash their hands after doing their business. I’ve taken to using a paper towel to open the door when I leave.

  • MrsRedDave
    Yucky and pooey …

    Well I glad to read this one. I think. I have 2 sons and one of your commenters stated somethign about them not cleaing the toilet. Well this is true with my 19 year old, he never really cleaned a toilet at my house until he was 18ish AND since I (the mom) live here in the house with 3 men/boys – you can imagine how dirty it can get around here.

    I will remeber this about the toilet cleaning and make sure my now 4 year old son will start cleaning it before he is 18 years old, although he does seem to be the cleaniest one of the men/boys in the bathroom.

    I will say though that I have noticed that womens bathrooms here in the USA seem to be getting cleaner. I can remember some that were really gross, but it seems that lately that doesn’t seem to be the case – ALTHOUGH, since my family has Disneyland Passes and we do use the public bathrooms there quite a lot maybe the cleanliness has something to do with being at, “The Happiest Place On Earth” and everytime I enter a bathroom there, there seems to be a person there cleaning stalls. Just lucky I guess …

  • globulous

    Gregg, you forgot to mention about the old cleaning ladies that show up in the public restrooms while one’s answering nature’s call. Aside from that (if possible) it’s best to just avoid the public restrooms for that matter … especially at the train stations … yuck!

  • WingFat
    Japanese Style…

    When you’re ready to switch to the Japanese style toilets (aka, “the squatter”), just remember this rule: Always take your wallet out of your back pocket before using them.

  • tamadite
    are you sure?

    have you asked the toilet cleaning staff about which are the worst, if women or men toilets? Ask and get surprised!

    Sometimes it is not enough to see part of the reality and guess the how could it be the other one just by judging how it looks outside.

  • http://brian.wanamaker.com/mybicycle/blogger.html bwana

    Pee-shy is a good term. Have you noticed that Japanese co-workers will all but high-five you when you meet in the restroom? Jesus, quit asking me about my project, my family, my cold… I’M PEEING HERE.

  • Ben
    attitudes

    We’re still suffering from our attitude that the genitals are dirty. Urine is OK but feces isn’t, but neither is old food. In the USA the best toilets you can buy are probably the Toto imports from Japan — see

    washlet.com. Yes I have one, yes it fits, yes I had trouble from the landlord about it. My daughter was brought up in Japan and was very saddened to learn that, after about age 7, she and I could not go to the same bathroom. (Her mother had a disability and almost never joined with her to public restrooms). But in Japan it was no problem — only in the USA.

    So when we read the seemingly ridiculous rules on

    http://www.restrooms.org/page03ar.html

    maybe we should remember that our American antics are also pretty ridiculous. Hey, when you don’t have water, the “right hand is clean” rule makes pretty good sense.

  • Ben
    attitudes

    We’re still suffering from our attitude that the genitals are dirty. Urine is OK but feces isn’t, but neither is old food. In the USA the best toilets you can buy are probably the Toto imports from Japan — see

    washlet.com. Yes I have one, yes it fits, yes I had trouble from the landlord about it. My daughter was brought up in Japan and was very saddened to learn that, after about age 7, she and I could not go to the same bathroom. (Her mother had a disability and almost never joined with her to public restrooms). But in Japan it was no problem — only in the USA.

    So when we read the seemingly ridiculous rules on

    http://www.restrooms.org/page03ar.html

    maybe we should remember that our American antics are also pretty ridiculous. Hey, when you don’t have water, the “right hand is clean” rule makes pretty good sense.

  • http://www.ne.jp/asahi/eigo-de/karaoke/ louisthemofo
    wingfat’s comment

    Your rule is so right. another thing to remeber is not to squat too far back or else you’ll lose your aim.

  • Acidman
    Bad parenting?

    Bad parenting is the problem for EVERYTHING. Palestenians had to learn “I must kill jews” from Someone….. Therefore tell me something I don’t know about the case of piss covered toilets. It’s not just Men’s toilets, it’s women’s too. People are disgusting assholes regardless of race or gender, stop kidding yourselves. You all say Japanease toilets are cleaner….. THEY HAVE TO BE. With a larger population and less space…. it has to be cleaner or they’d all die of disease. Besides… who gives a flying f*** about this retarded subject anyway.

  • anonymouse
    you suck!

    you put all the people (or guys) into one bag. you’re really paranoid.

  • xxx

    you suck…go lick your pussy…

  • beast
    wat are you on about u nut.

    In malasia singapore etc it hasnt got so bad there resorting to put a hose in there as opposed to oilet role. #they have always been like that becasue sewage systems in crowded places such as bangkok etc cannot cope with shit loads of toilet paper etc gettin flushed into it then u simply use the hose to clean. Also if u had any sense you woould have realised tht there is no actaul flush button an that the hose is the flush!

     

    cheers m8

    i luv people talking shit

  • World
    Toilets in Middle East

    Toilets in the Middle East ( Saudi, Emirates, Qatar etc) also have water hoses in them EXACTLY the same as in Malaysia.

  • BitRich

    This whole subject is hilarious. Thank-you for entertaining me.

    Greggman, you were doing really well until the pee shy declaration. Did they hold off on the medication long enough for you to write your blog entry. As for Iishibata, well, I’m sure you do like to ‘pat’ yourself dry!! Brilliant. Does the sight of a soiled seat make you want to pat yourself?!

    You are all completely bonkers.

    With the exception of the verging-on-scatologist, Iishibata, may I suggest adult diapers, so that you can all avoid public toilets completely?

  • Fraz006

    I am malaysian. the hose there is to be used to clean ur asshole. Malays+ Indian dont use toilet paper. we are taught that toilet paper doesnt CLEAN as much as water can do.other reason why u find the exact same hose in Middle East is bcoz they are Muslim too. Muslim prayers: one of the condition is ‘clean’. therefore, toilet paper cleaned asshole is not that CLEAN.its no joke, u have to believe me, thats the real reason why u can find hoses in Muslim country toilets.

    toilets in Malaysia are dirty, yes, thats very true.admit that.wet floor is not perceived as DIRTY here in malaysia.i don know why.

  • robo

    HEY GUYS ,
    IM PLANNING TO VISIT MALAYSIA AND STAY THERE FOR A MONTH OR TWO BY TAKING A FLAT FOR RENT. IM AN INDIAN AND IM VERY MUCH USED TO INDIAN KIND OF TOILETS (SQUATTING TOILETS). IT BECOMES DIFFICULT FOR ME TO USE WESTERN KIND OF TOILETS. SO, CAN ANYONE ESPECIALLY MALAYSIANS PLEASE TELL ME WHETHER MALAYSIANS USE SQUATTING TOILETS OR WESTERN TOILETS. PLEASE GIVE ME THE INFORMATION…

  • Cleo

    Try going into the toilet and finding it flooded with blood and feces flowing out because some stupid bitch tried to flush a used tampon or, worse, cotex, despite all the signs warning her not to. :p This happens pretty much every time I use a public restroom. Also, the pee-all-over–the-seats is definitely not limited to male latrines. People in general, from all cultures, just seem to be inconsiderate slobs.

  • Xak

    As men, we don’t really deserve any privacy anyway. Military toilets have no dividers even between the toilets, never mind the urinals. we’re supposed to have gotten over doing things and being naked in front of each other back in jr. high school. when they started putting individual shower stalls in jr. high and high schools I thought, ‘now we’ll never get over being naked in front each other.’ take OUT the dividers altogether and let us mingle the way we should have to, until it’s no big deal anymore.

  • http://greggman.com greggman

    The funny thing is, the people most likely to want the dividers are the jocks. Watch sometime in a public restroom. The guys who go into a toilet stall just to pee are usually the most jock looking guys. I guess they are embarrassed to show their junk.