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Life with no girlfriend

*They* tell you you should not worry about having a girlfriend. You should just have fun with your friends, get out and eventually you’ll meet one. Well, don’t believe it.

First of all you’ve got to have some friends to do that. Second of all those friends have to have other single friends for you to meet. That’s not my friends and never has been at any time in my life.

It’s been 3 years since I’ve had a real girlfriend. Before that one it was also 3 years and before that 5 years. That’s what I get for *not* worrying about it.

The other advice I’ve heard is to *DO* something that gets you near other people that have like interests. The typical examples being things like church, sports, clubs (bowling, chess, tennis, dancing etc.) Where’s the video games club or the internet club or the computer club? Sorry but although it might be fun to bowl, if that’s the only thing we have in common it’s not gonna work. And worse, every time I’ve tried one of those things there’s nobody I’m interested in or that’s even close to a match.

Actually I suppose I do believe it. I just don’t know how to *get out*. What am I supposed to do? Where do I go here in Tokyo to make new friends? I really haven’t a clue. Do I just go to some bar and try to pick somebody up? It doesn’t seem like the place to make friends.

And I’m picky. It’s not that there are not a zillion women I don’t find attractive. That was a double negative. In other words, I find tons of women attractive. In fact I’m much much less picky in the physical department then basically all of my friends. It’s just that I always see something down the road that says *BAD IDEA*!

Some examples: There are 5 or 6 girls in my school I’m interested in. One I actually saw quite a bit of for awhile. The more I learned about her though the less I was interested. She’s looking for a rich sugar daddy so she can stay a kid the rest of her life like her mother did. Those are her words, not mine.

The rest, besides being 24 and under (11 or more years younger than me), 3 of them have made it clear their parents will not except anything but same race boyfriends. This just came up by chance in some classroom discussion. I didn’t find out by hitting on them.

Anthony Robbins says that you’ll do more to avoid pain than to get pleasure and that everything you do is at it’s most basic level driven by those two forces. If that’s so and being alone is so painful then what’s the more painful thing I’m avoiding that’s preventing me from finding someone.

I could analyze it again as being picky. Clearly if I was less picky I could have a girlfriend immediately. My rationalization is that *any* girl is not cool. It’s got to be the *right* girl. By *right* I mean somebody that’s actually a match. That’s my friend. That we want to talk to each other.

Most of the girls I meet are like my x-wife. Wonderful people but we’d have almost nothing to talk about. Their lives are about gossip, fashion and what Kimura Takuya is doing. (the biggest male idol in Japan, maybe all of Asia) I don’t understand the female way adoring idols.

Most guys might want to *sleep* with some girl idol though more likely it’s just a fantasy and they don’t really care but for girls it seems far far more serious. They miss school to see their idol. They salivate infront of the TV and clasp their hearts. They gossip with each other about what their favorite is doing. Is this inherent in females or is it something taught by our cultures???

The longer it gets the more I feel like I should just *settle*. What’s an example of settling? How about picking somebody that smokes? How about picking somebody that will rarely talk to me or find anything I’m interested in interesting (and visa versa). How about a girl that’s picky in otherways. For example I met a girl recently that can’t stand junk food, can’t stand smoke, can’t stand anything other than *art* movies, and clearly has no respect for nearly anything I’m interested in. Some people would probably just shout, “Go For It!”.

I’m picky about girls. I’m not picky about food, or what I’m doing – I’ll do pretty much anything as long as somebody else makes the arrangements. I don’t mind if somebody else smokes because if I did then I basically couldn’t go out. At least not here in Japan. I’m a little picky about TV and movies. I don’t generally like TV dramas. The more meodramatic the worse. I don’t like watching most sports. Maybe gymnastics and figure skating. And I don’t like almost any movie that glorfies infidelity. That’s not to say I think people should stay together if they are not happy with each other but they should end the relationship instead of lying to and deceiving their partner.

Today I meet a really nice girl who cut my hair. Should I have asked her out? She said she moved to Tokyo 8 years ago on her own. I’m guessing that would make her at least 25. I have no idea if she was interested. She was friendly but of course that’s her job. Kind of like asking out a waitress. I suppose you could get lucky but more likely she’s just doing her job and that smile was the same smile she gives everybody. And then there’s the whole compatibility issue. What are the odds?

I met another girl yesterday. I think she was 24. Very attractive. No idea if she was a match or not though it was easy to talk to her for the few hours I saw her. Biggest problem other than age. She smokes.

It worries me that I’m finding like 7 out of 10 women attractive. Even 2 of my teachers. One is over 50 though she looks better than some people I know that are under 40. She was in a dream I had last night. It was a nonsense dream. She was standing on a grass hill and the dream camera flew around the hill and she was standing next to a very large glass and neon sign for a website that apparently was her’s with a name like mindanme.com. Strange. What’s that supposed to mean. Of course I don’t believe that dreams have meanings.

The whole age thing might work for some people but it’s hard to imaging not feeling like the father or the kid depending on if you’re significantly younger or older.

The other one I think is around my age but also smokes.

Well I’m rambling again. Like I said before, all day long I want to right stuff but then when I finally get infront of the computer I can’t remember any of it.

  • anon_Suprised_at_the_fact_that_you_had_the_balls_to_move_to_Japan_but_none_to_go_out_and_have_fun
    Another “i feel sorry for myself story”

    You have got to snap outta this mode.

    I am a couple of years younger than you and I would see no problem in seeing a girl who is maybe 24 (or around that mark). I am going to be crude here, I have a saying, “as long as everything fits” (you can read this two ways, sexually (of course) and personality). Just because she is younger it doesn’t mean things wont work out…you just have more experience than her, but that does not mean that you can’t go out and have fun together!

    And you are wrong in thinking that you need friends to introduce you to “single girls”.  You have a mouth don’t you? Well use it!

    I left you some suggestions in your Back in Japan post on where to go, and relaxing first then eventually talking to people.

     

    You are 36, why am I telling you this?

     

     

  • anon_Suprised_at_the_fact_that_you_had_the_balls_to_move_to_Japan_but_none_to_go_out_and_have_fun
    Another “i feel sorry for myself story” pt ii

    Being picky about a potential partner is good, But you should always stick to your standards.

    So she smokes….is it really such a big deal?  I don’t smoke, but I don’t let it worry me that someone else does.

    What is the worst that can happen? I go home in the evening with a smelly shirt…well that would happen if I went virtually anywhere in Tokyo since virtually everyone smokes (that is an exageration I know). But the fact remains that if I went to a Bar/club/restaurant someone would be smoking.

    Oh and:
    3 of them have made it clear their parents will not except anything but same race boyfriends3 of them have made it clear their parents will not except anything but same race boyfriends
    I would probably deliberatley try and go on a date with one of these girls…eveyone loves to rebel against their parents.
    Besides it is upto you to make them open their eyes to the fact that we are allowed to mix….
    You, yourself are proof of this fact!
    …you might even fall for each other and her parents would be no worry at all.

    I would say that most parents would be happy if their child eneded up with somebody decent.

    Do your self a favour, try and forget about the X. You sound like you are still in love with her…I don’t know who broke the relationship, but you ain’t gonna attract anyone if are like what you sound like in some of these posts.

    I would bet that one of your worst fears is going bald.

    Yet there are more important things to worry about.

     

  • greggman
    Typical American response

    eveyone loves to rebel against their parents.  Besides it is upto you to make them open their eyes to the fact that we are allowed to mix… …you might even fall for each other and her parents would be no worry at all.

    Not everybody loves to rebel against their parents.  That’s *might* be true in America.  It is NOT true in Korea or China and for lots of people in Japan.  In America since at least the 70s through movies, dramas, stories we are taught as kids that the ultimate thing is to get away from your parents.  To move out, get your own place, do what you want and if your parents don’t agree with it you tell them to take a hike.  If you are lucky you have parents like mine that support me in pretty much whatever I do.  If you are unlucky you have the next door dad from the movie American Beauty.

    That is not the reality in other countries.

    Ties to family are much stronger for various reasons.  It is not uncommon to live in the same house with your parents even after you are married.  Of course if your parents disown you because you went against their word then your life plan is down the toilet.  To an American living with your parents is probably a horrid idea and having to get along without them not such a big deal.  To many Asians though it’s a very different story.

    To give you another example of differences just in general.  My friends often ask me “Why is the divorce rate so high in the U.S.?”  I always counter with “Why is the divorce rate so low in Japan even though there are so many unhappy couples?”.  The reason is that in Japan it is still nearly impossible for a single mom to survive.  Companies will not give women over 30 jobs as “they should be home doing house work and taking care of the kids”.   So, people grin and bare it.  It may sound barbaric but it’s still the way of life for much of Asia.

    So she smokes….is it really such a big deal?

    Yes.  It’s not problem to have friends that smoke since I can escape it after a few hours.  I couldn’t escape a girlfriend that smoked.

    forget about the X. You sound like you are still in love with her

    Where did this come from?  I have forgotten about the X in the sense that I don’t wish to be with her but I will not forgot that she was cool and I would like to find someone as cool even if it’s in different ways.

  • anon_granQ

    just wanted to give you my support or something, agree with you 100%.. smoking is for me a symbol for “low class” i have nothing against low class as long they want to get up, but people that are smoking since they think it is cool.. no way.. friends diffrent thing.. girl i love (she don’t love me in return) told me she smoked and i almosted started to cry and so on, but she quit… ohh and you sound like me but older, also want to goto japan, not sure city and girls status.. kinda like you..

  • Excommunication
    No relationships will have a better outcome on life.

    No girls are the way to go. All relationships do is get in the way of what

    you are really set out to do. They are all about sex. Try marriage for 20 years without sex. When you look at your life, you say “what was the point.”

  • Greggman
    Ex, you gotta stop

    Ex, girls are what you need to succeed. They provide love you cant get enough of. You love them when you hug them. You give trust to her that is a must. Take care Excommunication and remember that love is something special.

  • DS

    u think too much dude

  • Kidtuf
    Wow…

    Dude…seriously. I’m 19, turning 20 in November, then a month after I am moving to Japan to marry my Japanese fiance. 19. I’m not magic, I’m not special, I just have some confidence. Maybe that’s what you lack? When it comes to women first thing is first, you have to be cool about it. I can’t get a vibe from your web blog but if you act how I think you do, you just need to relax. Because being single in Japan would rock in my opinion.

    I was in Fukuoka this last summer for three months. If there is an easier place to pick up chicks, I would like you to show me. See you are the lucky one, you’ve got this open range…so saddle up.

     

    Oh, I have no idea if you finally found a girl or not, considering this is a old post, but if not…keep on keeping on.

  • llk

    Just lost my girl……..wanna quit my studies, What to do? :(

  • Crusader

    This is ridiculous. He writes about having a problem with not having a girlfriend, and yet he had girlfirend in the past, even few times already! So what the hell is the problem? There are people who don’t get anything… at all…

  • http://sexo12.mature.es sexo12
    sexo
  • nogirlfriendman

    same here man ……….iam facin g the same problem ………i am an asian guy and nobody in my school talk to me ………..wtf

     

  • metoo

    same here dude. asian and the only girl i liked in my school turned out to have a boyfriend by the time i was ready to talk to her. guese we’ll both just have to wait until someone we really like appears

  • http://netalchemist.blogspot.com/ sderenzi
    You’re right

    Don’t worry because you’re right. I’ve tried getting a girlfriend but am failing miserably, I have no real chance. I am a nice guy, doomed forever to be alone and without a companion. Life does suck and nobody can say differently because when you’re 26 (like me) and single life is MEANINGLESS.

  • dumbass
    I’m with you

    I’m with you, sderenzi. 32, soon to be 33. Getting old. Never had a girlfriend, and increasingly unlikely to by the look of it. Nice enough guy, reasonably good-looking, but every single girl I’ve ever liked has either already had a boyfriend or just doesn’t give a shit.

    I’m screwed, and the older I get, the less likely it seems. Cause, you know, I really don’t get off on 30/40something divorced single moms.

  • Fwckthislife
    No Gals

    Dude, I am 20 never had any girlfriend. Ofcourse we all need girlfriends fu** god has made us like that. We all need love and sex. But many ppl are luck and many like us are unlucky. I no a guy (not me), that is quite small in height, gals don’t even look at him. He’s tryed hard, jst gave up after turning 30 and now jst smokes weed to get some fix instead of real sex. NO CHOICE. The other problem is we can’t make ourselves like each girl in this world with same intensity. Jusst can’t help it.

     

    I am in similar situation with normal (atleast in my view) height and personality. I have stopped caring as well after trying hard. Nothing we can do. Take heart that there are other ppl around in same situation as you if its any help

  • Fwckthislife
    No Gals
  • UnlukyGuyfromIndia

    Hi I am 27 and also a unlucky guy from a Metro City in India.Here in India’s Metro City, most of d guy frm d age of 14-15 has gf..who flaunt dem everywhere…also do cozy things in public places…and do sex also wid dem… I feel jealous wen saw those guys wid beautiful cheeks who herself flaunt a much..Somtimes i became angry..dat y god do dis to me…dat no love and sex for me :(. Some times wen i see dose mingling gf and bf…i dream i can be her guy n have sex wid her…I tried a lot since last 12 yrs but nt successful till yet…Donno y dis is happening to me….i am not dat much handsome..as i had a big accident scar mark on face frm last 8 yrs..also my body shape is average wid a small tummy…but i had seen d gusy who look very worse dan me…even dey have gf n got d pleasure of sex frm dem :(….somtimes i became so angry…dat i thought to fu** sum gals forcibly ….I tried frm d net also….dint find any beatiful gal who give me d love n sex….I think guys frm US, UK like countries r lucky who get love n sex frm d age of 13…these countries gals r also v horny n ready to give sex n love early frm d age of 13…unlucky me who born here in India…wid no gf..no love…no sex :(

    At last wat i m doin wid no gf n love in my life…dat I masturbate 4-5 times a week by watching some porn movies :(

  • lonelyinperfection
    To the writer

    You’re sick bro. You have the ability and you throw it away, while guys like me would kill to have it. I am 6 foot 3, 19 years old light skinned(in a predominantly Hispanic population, i.e I’m ‘different’), with curly light brown hair, and a reasonably muscled physique. I work out very often. I’m very good in sports, usually the best. I am polite and well mannered. I am not rich, but no where near broke. I know 3 languages fluently. I like to read. I love to have long intellectual conversations. I like to do the right thing. And I have never had a girlfriend. Much less sex. I am alone. And its not like I don’t try. I hang out with friends, I go to places with women, I try to talk to them in casual manner, yet women regularly choose short, boring, anorexic, broke guys over me. I dont know why, and it is a great pain in my heart. One no one should have to live with. So use your talent and stop being a wasteful picky idiot. That is my advie

  • Imjustme
    To the guys with no girlfriend

    I know what you guys mean. I’ve thought about changing my personality a lot, from a sincere honest guy to a jerk that treats women like crap. But that’s just not me and I’m not going to change for nobody. The main reason behind it is some women take advantage of guys who treat them with respect.

    I’ve just had to learn the hard way. I don’t trust women like I used to and am cautious when I meet a new girl because I don’t want to go through the crap I went through in the past. It hurts too much.

  • justanotherlonelyguy
    life without the right girlfriend let alone without a girlfriend.

    This is just the reality of life, and it sucks. Even though I had girlfriends in the past, I’ve been having a hard time getting a girlfriend. I’ve only had several girlfriends in the past because I had to settle for women that I wasn’t even interested on. The women I’m interested on don’t even look at me, are not available, or are emotional messed up because their previous boyfriends. I’ve settled on women that smoked too much, drank too much, fat ones, and even a coke head and only because they pretty much threw themselves onto me. It’s beyond me why good women look for guys who are jerks, with no car, no education, broke, and sometimes not even good looking. I’m totally the opposite, I have a college degree, fairly good looking with a nice body, not rich but I do more than ok, treat women with respect, and yet i have never had the girl I wanted, btw, I’m 30 now. So guys you are not alone, and believe me life sucks without a partner/gf but it sucks even more with the wrong one. But then again, like the post above stated, some guys don’t even get some or the wrong one. Now, it’s been 5 years since my last gf, I’ve been thinking about going back at taking whatever comes at me, but that’s just really not me. I’m not picky and i’m not looking for super models but at least something decent. I’m really frustrated at the situation and beginning to get depressed, especially when I see all of my friends happily married. Friends and people tell me that I will eventually find somebody, when? when I’m 70? what for then, if life is gone and lived miserably?. I guess some of us are destined to be alone for a very long time, perhaps even forever.

  • wyne
    nogirlfriend

    hey guys ! i am next month 34 but no girlfriend i work hard i have car nice apt i talk alots with girl but my luck no one my friends now i am tired i put my head down they think i play wat i play i dnt understand

     

  • jdeezy
    relaxx

    man u r way to uptight, just go out there and have fun, who cares, just go bang anything that moves and eventually it will work out.

  • MrPotato
    What the heck is wrong with you?

    I’ve had my share of heartbreak and disappointments, but I’ve never been without a girl for a period that lasted longer than two weeks. Heck, I’ve even had to juggle more than a few just so I could pick the one I wanted the most. I think the reason you don’t have much luck with girls is because you’re afraid of the disappointment. Also, you seem to be locked in this fantasy of “the perfect woman for you.” But girls are kind of like cars. You can sit around imagining your “dream machine” or you can get out there and actually test drive a few and find one you can afford. Imagination alone isn’t going to get anywhere; a real car will.

    What do women actually think about YOU? How are ever going to get a clear picture of yourself if you don’t put aside your nitpicking and find out what women really think of you? If you want people to be attracted to you, then you’ve got to start thinking about how to add value in other people’s eyes instead of merely assessing the value you see in other people. Find out what your current social position is in other people’s eyes (don’t just imagine it either). Find out what your strengths and weaknesses are and then look for ways to increase your charms. The only way to do this is by getting out there and DOING it. Don’t take it too seriously. Look at it as an educational experience. Expect to fail miserably, but don’t let yourself get depressed over it. Do the same if you find yourself hooked up with a person you are ultimately not interested in. Let her go and move on. Just look at it as a learning experience. People go to school for years without realizing that life is one humongous classroom.

    Also, keep in mind that you can’t always get exactly what you want. The trick is to appreciate what you get. A man might go to the supermarket and expect to buy a fruit that is a cross between a strawberry and a mango. Upon not finding what he wants, he might go home hungry. OR ….. he might simply try a tangerine and discover …… hey, a tangerine ain’t half-bad after all. Keep your mind open and appreciate reality for what it is. That can often be much better than wallowing in self-pity over some dream that never manifested itself.

    Get out there and sample some of the fruit. You might find that what’s out there is even better than what you imagined.

  • Imsingletoo
    MrPotato, you are such a douchebag

    Some people can’t just walk up to a girl and say hi sup can I have your number??

    I can explain some more, but I have too much on my mind

    To everybody in the world, you people should watch Fight Club. This movies reminds us of our selves (single people), the hard working class of the cooperate world with a 6 figure salary and no women.

    A women is not the answer we need. We need an adrenaline rush. This is why people who do crazy shit get joked at for not getting laid! OK I’m joking here, but still; lets say you go to the wageon in japan over 200MPH in a tiny 1000hp nissan skyline or porsche carrea. Would you care about women then? Oh, and this is why Japanese people spend over half their money on cars. haha (including me)

  • porquelho
    yep…

    Guys, I am sort of in the same situation. It is not a matter of meeting girls, is just that the ones that are available are just not that interesting, and when one that looks interesting comes about there is always something going on (e.g.: boyfriend). I have sort of quit looking, if it happens it happens, if not, fine. I miss being in a relationship, but hell, I do not want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship…better alone than with a bad company.

  • AN_ASSHOLE

    ” One thing Begets the next,man has his Weakness,his Flaws. That Flaw leads him to Guilt. The Guilt leads him to Shame. The Shame he compensates with Pride and Vanity & when Pride fails,Despise takes over & leads him to Destruction.That will become his Fate !!! ”

    I MYSELF HAVE NO F U C K I N G GIRLFRIEND !!!

    LET’S BE DESTRUCTIVE, WHY DON’T WE START TERMINATING PRETTY GIRLS/LADIES/WOMEN ?

    JUST EXECUTE THEM…………………….

  • hitch

    dear lord can you feel me … no money no job no girlfriend tell me why… what am i to do now im a human and i need to be loved.

  • JackUH

    Mother of mercy, how come you’re complaining? You live in goddamn Japan and get to learn Japanese and be in a hyper urban city. You probably make a decent wage.

    What about me? I’m blooming 26, I’ve never had a girlfriend and I’m more obsessed about getting my career started than about getting a girl! Some people don’t know how good they have it. My parents would kill for a son like you, instead of someone like me who don’t give a toss for relationships.

    I was just surfing on the internet and typed “no girlfriend and don’t care” and I found this post. I was curious to see some positive examples of how people can live without relationships, and you ain’t helping friend!

    Okay, not to leave this as a negative post, but you have to either nut up or shut up.

    Go to places where you specifically go to meet single people to date NOT to necessarily share interests. I mean, don’t they got like speed dating or some other cheesy singles night in Japan or something? In China they have places where expats hang out, there must be things like that in Japan?

    And why you even looking at girls that are 24? The things, it’s not that it’s weird that they’re too young for you, it’s because they’re frickin’ immature. Of course they’re gonna be flaky and shallow, because they know they’re still young and think life is easy (the same thing with young people feeling invincible). You gotta focus on people more your age, because they’ll at least have some of the same desire for stability than you have.

    Man, I hope when I hit 36 I hope I’ll be complaining about more than girls…it’s just too high school to me.

  • jpe

    you live in japan and your not having a blast.get real try living in calgary alberta.

  • DIONISIO O. PERIKO

    My friend, #1 you should visit AGAVE, NEW YORK BAR and AQUAVIT in Tokyo.

    #2 purchase a pair of Suede loafers and spend at least $500. Purchase a cotton white shirt with a light pattern and spend at least $300. Purchase a pair of Von Zipper sunglasses and a pair of very expensive jeans, spend at least $300. Then get an Armani jacket. Purchase a very expensive eau de cologne. Cartier Santos or Herrera might do the trick. Purchase an expensive wallet, spend at least $300.

    #3 grow a beard if you can grow one. Go back to the hairstylist and let him/her arrange it. Not your hairstylist. Hire one. Go to the most expensive place. You should expect to pay at least $200. Your hair is the frame to your face. You need to do some marketing boy.

    #4 get a nice sports car. A leased NISSAN 350Z will do the trick. You can always get the fancier convertible Mercedes which never fails to impress. Get it used with no more 40,000 miles on it. If you are getting an SUV then it should be a LAND ROVER…an LR2, the old Discovery will do the trick. Get a foreign car at all cost if you can. If not Nissan will do.

    #5 purchase a late model blackberry and a late model thin laptop.

    #6 Go the bars listed above 4 or 5 times and leave a “VERY GENEROUS TIP’ to the bartender. At least $50. The third time that you go, ask him if he knows any regulars. Ask him/her to point them out. Tell him that you work for a big american corporation, don’t have much time on your hands and you are looking to meet some new people as people at the office are boring. Tell him that you just bought a new motorcycle (which you will) and want to share it with a chick (girl).

    #7 Ever seen the movie Hitch? Well, I am the closest thing. I have a track record of 65 married couples in 8 years in business. If you have the time, I have the will. If you have the money, I will find the time. And get you the “girl”.

    If you have a question, I charge $150 per question. Questions can not be longer than two-lines. Payment accepted only through paypal.

    I have a Bachelor’s degree in Pscyhology from Yale University and two Master’s degree from Princeton University. I have a PhD in Social Psychology from University of Birmingham.

    If you have about $7,000 to spend on yourself, I will work with you. It will take anywhere from 3 weeks to 9 months. It will depend on my schedule and your eagerness to succeed.

    Contact me at carlosperezmiami@aol.com

    You will address me as Mr. Periko.

  • DIONISIO O. PERIKO

    One last thing, you might think that is shallow to spend money to show it and impress others.

    IT IS MARKETING. YOU NEED TO MARKET YOURSELF.

    YOU NEED TO GAIN SOME CONFIDENCE.

    YOU NEED TO ADDRESS THE RIGHT GIRLS AT THE RIGHT AGE GROUP.

    SURE, AT 24 THEY ARE SOFT, TENDER, AND TASTY. BUT YOU NEED TO BE FOCUSING ON ANOTHER AGE GROUP.

    Would you have noticed Apple, Budweiser and many other brands if it weren’t for their ads and marketing. Probably not.

    You might think that you are a loser. And I am sure you are a loser. That is why I am coming to you. To help you beat the sack of hemorroids that you are and make you a better person. Inside out.

    See you soon.

    Mr. Periko

  • Phillip G

    I’m gonna say it. The grass is always greener my friend. And when it rains it pours (two cliches!).

    What I mean is, as a guy it’s easy to get obsessed with the idea of having a girlfriend. You know what the cure for that is? Actually getting one and dealing with their shit on a weekly basis lol I just got out of a 2 year relationship and am now in another one. DAILY i ask myself, “why am I even with someone? Life would be so much more fun if I had the freedom to go and do what I wanted without having someone bitch at me or get upset if i do”. Because make no mistake, and this is in every relationship, when you get a girlfriend, your schedule doesn’t belong to you anymore. Any and all resistance to you devoting massive amounts of your time and energy to this one, insecure, attention starved person, will result in arguments and discomfort the likes of which you have never come across. After about a year of that, you’ll start to think “Hmm…maybe the single life wasn’t so bad after all.” Stay single man. Don’t get tied down until you’re at least in your late 30’s lol

    Oh, and the regular sex is great. But I’ll say this much…even filet mignon tastes terrible after you’ve eaten it for a year. I hope you get what I’m saying lol

    Goodluck

  • bob s

    at least you can say you’ve had someone at one time. i on the other hand can’t at all. low confidence(especially if any random woman i happen to look at(even if i don’t care about the person, supervisor, co-workers, people on the street) will instantly cover up their upper chest areas. every time i see that which is 20 times a day, all it will do is continue to lower my confidence. how would someone go about meeting someone if all that will happen is the above described.

  • Miss Red

    Dude.

    My Fiance waited 12 years until he finally met someone (me!) who he could love physically, emotionally, intellectually…in every way. Someone to build a life with. And yes he was fucking lonely sometimes. But in the end he acknowledged when he finally had me, that he was so glad he didn’t settle for a girl with more boobs than brains.

    btw I am 9 years younger than him. Past 18, it’s the maturity, not the age, that counts.

  • Eddieinsac2

    im 30 and i live in suckramento, ca… i feel your pain man, i just got back from a restaurant with a friend of mine and its the same b.s. beautiful women with complete douchebags… im a mechanical drafter im fit clean an ex marine with above average looks… im just a real person and women dont like reality, period… they like to be with weak minded boys they can control… im trying hard not to give up but its getting harder

  • JustSomeGuy

    OK here goes…I’m 31, never had a girlfriend. I’ve been laid a couple of times, but that didn’t happen until I was 26. Those girls that were attracted to me enough to want to have sex with me wanted nothing to do with having a relationship with me. I have some good things going for me, but they are counteracted by the perceived bad.

    I’m not ugly, but I’m no Brad Pitt. I’m probably not even Brad’s 2nd cousin.

    I live right next door to my parents because my dad is old and is unable to physically or financially support my mom, so for all intents and purposes, I live with my parents.

    I have a decent job and do OK financially, but I am the youngest employee there and the next youngest is about 15 years older than me. I’m not into geriatrics, so no chicks at work. It takes me an hour to get to work and another hour home, so that kinda cuts into my social time. And I can’t move since I basically support my parents. Did I mention I live in a very small town. Population 1496.

    Now, I have been able to make friends with girls in the past and of course they always are married or have a steady boyfriend. They always say what a great guy I am and the right girl will come along one day blah blah blah. The few single girls that I’ve been attracted to and tried to go out with have very politely informed me that I am in their friend zone, but they’re sure that plenty of other girls would love to go out with me…just not them. This leads me to believe that other girls would just have the same reservations about dating me as they do, since it is the only answer I have ever encountered. Girls love me, they just aren’t in love with me, nor can they see themselves ever being so. One of my favorite responses is, “I’m just not attracted to you like that”.

    I love reading some of the “advice” left by well intentioned posters. A common reply is, “You need to be more confident. Girls like confident men”. I have complete confidence in myself and in my ability to handle whatever endeavour I chose to undertake. I have jumped out of planes, raced at speeds of over 150mph, play guitar at a professional level in house bands. I would go to the moon, rush a machine gun nest, or fight a giant. I just don’t see a lack of confidence as being my issue.

    “You’re being too picky”, is another common counsel. The problem is, you really cant help who you’re attracted to. True you don’t have to be alone. You could run out and find the first girl that would say yes and stick around regardless of your personal attraction for her, but is that not just trading one unhappiness for another?

    Then there are those that espouse that you are indulging in self pity, by blogging about how you feel and your girlfriendless situation. A) That’s a judgment call. B) Its easy to chastise someone when you yourself have not experienced the severe displeasure of never having someone. I know what it’s like. I know how it feels to get that empty, burning hole in your chest and long for someone to share your life with. It is a lonliness that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m not much for quitting, but I’m to the point where I NEED to give up on the hope that I’ll ever find someone. Then I might actually begin to enjoy the other aspects of my life.

  • LonelyButHappyGuy

    Don’t worry guys, It seems God have other things for us to do :)
    I am also no girlfriend for my past 40 years .. ha ha

  • anon

    well, I’m in a similar situation, no meaningful contact with a woman in 3 years. The “greater pain” I’m avoiding is how difficult a breakup can be. I’m also “picky”, although I consider it reasonable, what I’m looking for might as well be the white buffalo based on my experience. Some lgirl that is atleast moderately attractive, close friend, and accepts me for who I am.t

  • kase312

    i don’t have luck to have my girl now I’m pissed off from my life i don’t do anything i live in a room with lonely and dark with thinking about her all the rest of my life i know she will go with someone but i l loving to her thinking about her until the end of my life.i don’t have friends because i left them cause of her.no I’ve Trance music only to feel me and be with me.everyone hates me cause of ma unlucky future.god bless to you all      

  • kase312

    i don’t have luck to have my girl now I’m pissed off from my life i don’t do anything i live in a room with lonely and dark with thinking about her all the rest of my life i know she will go with someone but i l loving to her thinking about her until the end of my life.i don’t have friends because i left them cause of her.no I’ve Trance music only to feel me and be with me.everyone hates me cause of ma unlucky future.god bless to you all      

  • Emb1212

    this forum is depressing. just like this post will be haha. well lets see im 21 almost 22. dont have much going for me, ive worked and done stuff. ive had 1 gf and no sex was to be had lol. after that i took the break up hard. i think becuase of what i learned i too became depressed. i dont wana feel that way again so i dun think ill b with anyone for the rest of my life. so sad. i just feel like getting a great gurl is like winning the lottery. the only luck id have is to get struck by lightning 5 times lol. so in the end we all choose our paths. i think if u suffer and our lonely there is no real reason to live. just my thoughts. depressing huh?? lol

  • Jackthelad

    A lot of guys believe having a girlfriend will solve the other problems in their life. For all you guys out there without a girlfriend… so what… if you need a girlfriend then just ask yourself why… once you honestly answer that, forget about it all, have fun and be who you want to be. If a women finds you attractive for who you are rather than who you are trying to be then you will be onto a winner. But remember, be careful what you wish for, what you think it will be compared to the reality of the situation may make you think why the hell you were so sure you wanted that women in the first place.

  • Abhaysrkr

    I’m  n Indian…life seems to be better always,,but sometimes it lacks……need someone to rescue immediately…..

  • guest

    That-s exactly my life dude, really wish one of us were female so we could meet XD

  • Vishu K 5272

    gf sucks my life >:(

  • Harvey-helyer

    cool

  • Weirdo

    Its really annoying same here. I m so good looking …but still ugly guys have gal frends and I dont have. Every girl is engaged or the other gals who r single they dont want to mingle. Indian sex life sucks. It is very difficult or impossible to get a girl friend in india. U may end up marsturbating dats wat U get if u r born in INDIA

  • SAVI

    THEY DONT LIKE MEN,THEY DONT WANT MEN, WHEN IT COMES TO CHOOSIN A MAN, THEY CHOOSE A SCUM OR BUCKER? THEN THEY CELEBRATE VALENTINES DAYS? VALENTINES? REALLY? WHERE ARE THEY?. JUST GIVE THEM UP AND GO FUCK A PROSTY. BE STRONG,STAY STRONG, YOU CAN LIVE WAY BETTER WITHOUT THEM AND CHILDREN ARE THE BIGGEST DISASTERS — SOMETIMES COULD BE BORING 2 ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM