I was listening to Tony Robbins again and there was one tape about the 6 fundamental needs of human beings. Not wants but NEEDS. This is of course his opinion but it made sense to me. He arrived at these supposedly by thinking about why it is that having traveled all over the world people all seem to have basically the same problems even though beliefs, cultures, etc are different.
So: #1 is the need for certainty. When people are uncertain, generally they freak out, get really uncomfortable. Things like wondering if your job is secure, if your girlfriend loves you, if you'll have money next week, month, year, etc. People need certainty. I know that's been a huge issue for me for the last 9 months or so not knowing what I would be doing next and trying to decide, Japan or America, Programming or something else. And then the last couple of months especially getting low on money and having my visa run out etc.
But, if you are 100% certain about everything then you get bored which brings up #2. the NEED for uncertainty. This is why we seek adventure etc and like why if you get rich you get bored if you don't find someway to fulfil your need for uncertainty (or variety, another way to put it). He said this also explains why people you'd otherwise completely respect, have affairs. An action that by all their beliefs they think is wrong but yet still do it because they need that uncertainty and they aren't getting it.
#3 is the NEED to be significant. (to be needed, to feel important, to feel like you have a purpose, to feel unique) It's not a desire, it's a NEED. There are lots of ways to feel significant. You could get this feeling by tearing other people down. Another way is through violence. You could claim to have a disorder so other people will give you sympathy making you feel significant. You could feel significant by knowing lots of stuff. You could do it by getting a degree (Doctor, Lawyer, President) You could collect all the toys. You could achieve stuff. I think this is the NEED I was feeling when I wrote to friends about feeling like a pointless grunt programmer instead of a meet with the publisher, make the big decisions, smooze at the fancy restaurants, go on PR tours around the world etc....
but again, if you are completely significant you generally have to be different than others which brings up #4 is the NEED for connection and love. If you are so busy being significant/unique you end up feeling separate from others. Connection basically means some kind of relationship which can be as simple as being a screaming boss. Your employees have to deal with you giving you a connection to them. It might not be nearly as fulfilling as a loving relationship but it still helps fill this need at some level. Another way to fulfill this need is with pets. You can get it through sex. Through a relationship with God. Through a lover or family.
So basically he says that the reason most people do most things is because they believe their actions are fulfilling one or more of these needs at some level.
#5 and #6 are separate. In his opinion you can get all 4 above but if you don't have 5 and 6 you won't be fulfilled.
#5 is the need to grow. He claims you are either growing or dying. No inbetween. He claims no one is happy if you are not growing.
#6 is the need to contribute. If you are not contributing to others, to the *greater good* you will not be happy. What ever it is. It could be as simple as feeling you are contributing to your kids or your company (the people in it) etc.
Anyway, he goes over that alot of this is perception. For example after giving this talk the president of L.A Gear told him he was so lucky because he, Tony Robbins, was contributing to so many people's lives through his advice but that he, the president of L.A. Gear was "just making tennis shoes" to which Tony Robbins pointed out for example that this guy was providing jobs for thousands of people which in turn was making it possible for people to put their kids through college, buy their kids braces, etc etc. Meaning that in many cases whether you meet these needs is a matter of how you perceive your actions.
I think #3 hits that on the head. It's a NEED. I agree with him. I've told friends that I have a desire to be a *big shot*, boss, owner, etc and that alot of it has to do with that NEED to feel significant. I felt very significant as a partner at Big Grub. I felt pretty significant working on Crash Team Racing. I didn't feel significant working on J&D. I did feel some significance when meeting with Sony. Being that a V.P. of the Japan Playstation group was there and we were being wined and dined at some pretty nice places.
I'm wondering how I will get that feeling at Sega. I might be able to find another way to fulfill it but it's not being fulfilled now which is why it's bugging me so much. I'll bet alot of people get it for a while by being their kid's parent.