dating_before 1999-03-16

1999-03-16

Hey, so you came this far. Will you continue after you've read this? I've been trying out match.com for a while. Out of 3 women I've meet, one I never heard from again.  One became a good friend.  The last was wonderful woman and we had about a 9 month relationship starting as friends but unfortunately before I fell in love with her I had made plans to live in Japan and so when the time came to leave we decided I had to go.  It was too big on an opportunity and she would not feel right about things if I stayed with her and gave up Japan.  (It's actually a much more complicated story)

I learned some things from that relationship.  One is that I pretty much need a few months to fall in love.  If you want to date me lets just be friends first and do somethings together for a while.  I'm sure there's a one in a million girl that I could fall in love with at first site but on the otherhand I don't trust that kind if feeling.  I want to be with someone who is my best friend, who I love to talk to and share everything with.

I asked her to write a new profile for me.  Here is what she wrote:

I doubt that a few sentences can adequately express what a truly cool dude Gregg is but I'll try anyway. Lets see, Gregg... ... is kind of self-deprecating. Doesn't have a big head at all. Maybe this is why he's still single. ... is very cute (all the different nationalities combined well). I'm envious of his long pretty lashes 😊 ... is very intelligent and is knowledgeable about many subjects. I think the best match for him would be someone who is also intelligent and can hold their own in conversation. ... is ambitious and has a very successful career. ... has a great sense of humor. He'll make you laugh. ... is affectionate, romantic, and best of all, creative about it. He'll treat you very well. ... likes to travel, roller coasters, music, reading, eating out (not afraid to try different cuisines), movies (up to date with the latest releases). ... very honest and open. He'll say what he really thinks. Does he have any bad qualities. Of course, everyone does. He's shy and somewhat too analytical (what can we expect, he's very smart). I really believe the person Gregg will be with is truly lucky.

I will make one correction. I do have a big head when it comes to my career.  I also once asked a friend of mine to write my profile. Here's what she wrote:

What is he like? Well, let's see...he's a computer programmer, which would make you think of some unfashionable dweeb, but actually he's one of the most trendy people I know (my mother-in-law says he has always been the best dressed of all of our friends, even in high school, and she's right!). Goes to all the latest movies, always knows what's happening around town. Great guy to be with if you like an active social life, and going out to have fun a lot. Quiet person, though...kind of shy in a sweet, self-conscious way. But once you get to know him, he opens up and is the perfect person to have intense discussions with. Loves to travel, try new restaurants (or go to good old ones), very interested in roller coasters and stuff like that. He's a very steady, reliable guy, but still kind of wild in a fun, let's drive to Vegas this weekend kind of way. Doesn't drink much, doesn't smoke, but isn't a jerk about it if others do. I think he'd be happier with someone who wasn't terribly interested in smoking, though, and probably someone who didn't drink too much, if at all. What can I say? I think his shyness is why he hasn't found someone yet, but I'm completely certain he will. And whoever she is, I hope she realizes just how lucky she is!

Wow, I'm not sure that's the picture I have of me. Best dressed? I have the nicest clothes of all my friends but I rarely wear them.  I'm usually in jeans and a T−shirt or jeans and some other kind of shirt.  Maybe all my friends just dress poorly 😉

As for me I'm looking for someone to be in love with and to share a lifetime of friendship. I'm looking for someone to be my best friend and the person I share all of my experiences with. I would love to go to plays and fancy restaurants and weekend getaways and travel but my ideal image of those activities has my best friend and lover as a large part of them.

I'm not sure what kind of woman I'm looking for exactly but here's my best guess. I'm looking for an intelligent woman near my age give or take around 4 years.. Someone who preferably likes some of the things that I do (computers and/or video games and/or Japanese) so I can share that part of my life with her. I don't want one of those relationships where the woman spends all her time with her friends and the guy with his and all they really share together is the bills and the bed. That doesn't mean I'm only interested in female programmers though. In the video game industry the ratio of men to women is probably as high as 30 to 1 so it's really hard to meet people. Fortunately the internet seems to be getting more women at least marginally interested in computers. I know a few husband and wife teams in my industry and I have to say it looks rather appealing but that's not something I expect to happen.

I'm not looking for a model but I do need to be physically attracted to her. The most important physical attribute to me is a good smile.

When it comes to relationships I like to follow rather than lead. I'm an extrovert trapped in the body of an introvert. A have a very strong desire to be crazy outgoing but I find that I really need some support behind me to do it. I'd like someone else to make the social calendar, travel plans and things like that. If you take me to a bar or a dance club expect me to be nervous as I'm out of my element and don't know the social customs expected of me. In otherwords, I'll look to you as to what I should be doing in that situation. I'd also prefer her to make the first move in most cases even well into the relationship. If you're looking for the aggressive dominate male that's not me. At least not with women. In my career it's another story.

As for sports, I'm always amazed at the stuff I read in the profiles at Match.com.   There are so many women that seem to be into rock climbing or hiking or biking etc.   One women even said she was training for a triathalon!  Me, I don't do any regular athletic activities.  That's not to say I don't want to but not enough for me to organize things.  If somebody asked me to play tennis or go biking or roller blading I would most likely say yes.  As for watching I mostly don't like to watch sports at all nor do I keep up with them at all.  Maybe a couple of times a year I'll watch gymnatics or ice skating on TV.

Speaking of TV I'm not a sit infront of the TV kind of person.  Of course I can waste a Saturday afternoon with the Discovery Channel or the Learning Channel on.  I also used to like to watch X−files and B5.  I never got into things like Friends or Seinfeld.

As for 'ethnicity' I'm a mutt. Hawaiian, Tahitian, Chinese, Portuguese, English, Irish and Dutch. My family taught me mostly about my Hawaiian heritage as my Dad's parents are both from Hawaii and my Grandfather and many of his brothers and sisters are entertainers (read: show offs 😊 My 'ethnicity' also means I was introduced to many kinds of food (sometimes as in "you're not leaving the table until you eat it") I'm glad my parents did that because now I like all kinds of food and love to try new things.

My current obession is learning to speak Japanese. I've been studying for about 3 years but it's really hard. Especially because I'm not out going enough to talk to strangers especially when I'm not sure how to say what I'm thinking.  If fact the main reason I'm in Japan is to become fluent.

If you're curious where 'anon.echidna' comes from then check out 'What is an Echidna anyway?' Also, my main web page is at http://www.greggman.com where there's lots more stuff.

I suppose you'd like to see some pictures.  You could browse my pages.  You might find a few there.  How about these from elsewhere on my webpages.

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There's a dating service in Newport Beach called 'It's Just Coffee'. Their belief is that if you meet someone you'll know within the hour whether or not you want to see them again. So what do you think? Write me here and lets discuss it over lunch or dinner.

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dating_before 1999-04-06